Arkham Novels
by Superdollhouse
Summary: Jonathan Crane and Harley Quinn bond a little bit while hanging in the Arkham rec room. Crane discovers a few things about Harley's psych, or is he left more confused?


The Arkham Asylum recreational room was nothing too spectacular. A few couches here and there, one TV, a old wooden book shelf, chess table, and a water fountain. Nothing too spectacular at all.

An Arkham guard led a handcuffed Harley Quinn towards the entrance of the Rec room. The young ex psychiatrist could barely contain her excitement. For the rec room was a chance to see her two favorite people in the world, Joker and Poison Ivy. Although Joker was usually never given rec room privileges, as Arkham staff deemed him too dangerous and unpredictable to be in the same room with other inmates. It was a wise decision on Arkham's part, as the last time Joker was given rec room privileges he murdered one of the guards by shoving the rec room's TV's remote control down his throat, choking him.

"Stop humming!" The guard yelled at a giddy Harley, who started humming a tune only a minutes seconds ago.

"Oh lighten up!" Harley yelled childishly back at him.

The guard ignored her comment and opened the door to the rec room, leading her inside. Harley scanned the surrounding rec room. She couldn't see Joker anywhere, not that she expected to see him. Ivy wasn't lounging in her usual spot near the window.

She sighed with disappointment, realizing that neither Joker or Ivy were in the rec room today.

Harley turned her head towards the guard as he uncuffed her hands from behind her back,"Where's Ivy?"

The guard glanced at her, "You didn't hear? She escaped three days ago."

Harley furrowed her brow, "I never heard that."

The guard shrugged and turned to walk away, "Well now ya know."

Harley sighed and turned her head back to face the room. She scanned the surroundings, hoping to find a familiar face among the inmates. Her bright blue eyes lit up as she caught notice of Jonathan Crane, AKA The Scarecrow, lounging on one of the frumpy sofa with his head buried in a book.

Harley smiled cheerfully. Jonathan and her got along pretty well. Crane in a way took pity on Harley, as the clown never treated her with the respect she deserved in his opinion. Of course, since Harley is Harley, Crane only like to see and interact with her in minimal dosages. As she can be, and is, extremely annoying and childish.

But he still enjoyed the girl's company when it happened. He would never admit it in front of her, but she was very sweet and kind. Of course the criminal influences from Joker and Poison Ivy could turn her into a very deadly opponent. So Crane most of the time tried to not get on her bad side.

Harley skipped over towards him. Her girly blonde pigtails swung back and forth as she trekked towards Crane. He hadn't seemed to notice her presence yet and jumped out of shock as she plopped right next to him on the sofa.

"Hi Professor Crane!" Harley smirked.

Jonathan frowned and glared at her, " Harley, could you please not sneak up on me again? I'm trying to read in peace."

"Aw, did I scare the 'Master of Fear'?" Harley mocked while giggling.

"That title means nothing. And no you didn't scare me, child. No one can." He said while continuing to read his book.

"Not even a little bit?" Harley pouted.

"Nope."

Harley huffed, "Aw phooey."

Crane tried his best to block out her presence and ignored her by still reading his novel. To his relief, he had a few moments of pure silence until Harley spoke up again.

"So what'cha reading?" She asked curiously while leaning towards him to glance at the book. Crane felt a little uncomfortable with her close approximately. He wasn't used to being in such close contact with a woman. Let alone a beautiful blonde like Harley.

His job wasn't exactly the kind of thing that attracted the ladies, and even if he did, he didn't have time for pursuits such as dating and settling down. He had a duty to abide: make Gotham and everyone in it die from fear. Fear caused by him.

Crane scooted over away from her to the end of the couch. Harley stared at him with a confused look on her face as he did so.

"What's wrong? I just asked you a question." She said confusedly.

Crane sighed and quickly changed the subject, "I'm reading 'Great Expectations' if you must know."

Harley's face brightened up at hearing his words. "Oh I love that book!"

Crane glanced over at her in disbelief. He was shocked to hear that. Sometimes when you hung around with Harley and her childish attitude, you forget that she used to be an intelligent therapist before she went insane.

"You're familiar with Charles Dicken's work?" Crane asked her.

"Of course!" Harley chirped as she slid back over towards him on the couch, much to his disappointment.

"I remember we had to read it back in High School. It was kinda boring but I always remembered it. What other books do you got?" Harley asked with interest.

Now this was the kind of topic Crane could definitely discuss with someone. He loved books, almost as much as fear. Books were the answer to everything in his opinion. He learned about everything he needed to know from books. It was nice to have someone who was interested in them like he was.

"Oh I collected plenty to read about." Crane reached over to a small pile of stacked novels which sat at his foot. He picked one off from the top.

"Here, this one is a controversial classic." He said handing her the book.

Harley took the novel from him and read the title aloud, "A Clockwork Orange?"

"Yep," Crane nodded. "It's about a troubled young man who is sent to the authority's for his violent crimes."

"Oh so he's like us. I mean, he's a criminal." Harley asked.

Crane chuckled, "Yes Harley he's just like us. I'm sure you and him will relate just fine."

Harley opened the book and skimmed through a few of the pages. "Um, Professor Crane?"

Crane glanced up at her from his book. "Yes?"

"What the heck is up with the words? What kind of language is this?" She asked him. The book was riddled with words she didn't understand. Word's such as bivta, cantora, guff, devotchka, domy, and so on.

"Oh that's the slang that the author chose to use. It's a Russian-influenced argot called 'Nadsat'." He explained to her.

Harley frowned and placed the book down. "Well I don't wanna read a book where I gotta learn a whole new language."

Crane shrugged, "Your loss."

Harley scanned the pile and picked up another titled 'Gone with the Wind'.

"What this one about?" Harley asked, showing him the front cover of the book.

"It's an historical romance novel." Crane explained.

Harley grinned, "A romance? Oh that's perfect! Just like me and Mistah J." She mused while staring off into the distance front of her, no doubt thinking about the clown.

"Yea. Just like you and Joker." Crane replied sarcastically.

Harley was snapped out of her Joker thoughts by Crane's voice. She opened the book up on her lap to the first page and began reading.

Harley and Jonathan continued to read side by side until the guards came to take them back to their assigned cells. The next few days when they would both be sent to the rec room, they would read novels with each other. Crane had found out Harley was interested in mainly romance novels, so he took it upon himself to collect a pile of the ones he found in the bookshelf.

Crane was really beginning to enjoy having a person to read and discuss his books with, for he wasn't used to such social interaction. Harley was actually much more intelligent than he thought. She continued to exceed his expectations everyday with her knowledge of the novels which she read and certain character's psych. Of course, anyone would be surprised to hear her speak so intelligently, for she talked and acted like a blond bimbo most of the time.

That raised a question in the psychology major part of Crane's mind. Why did she act out those behaviors? Did Joker like when she acted like that? That didn't seem likely. For the clown did come off as annoyed with her silly behavior most of the time. Maybe it was deeper then that. Maybe it was only a subconscious thing going on in her messed up mind.

Crane decided to ask her the next to they were together in the rec room. They were each reading side by side when Crane cleared his throat and spoke up.

"Excuse me, Harley."

Harley glanced up at him, "Yea Johnny?"

"I have a question for you. Please don't be offended but I couldn't help but notice how much intelligence you have shown these past few weeks we've been together. It confuses me, intrigues me in a way. Because any other time I see you you're always acting like a, uh, how can I put this nicely, a bubbly idiot."

Harley stared at him for a few moments with a blank face. Crane felt a little uneasy, he had no idea what her reaction would be for calling her a 'bubbly idiot'. It shouldn't be too bad, he figured. He's heard Joker call her worse.

A grin grew on Harley's face. "Oh Professor Crane, you're a silly guy." she chuckled and gave him a playful punch on his shoulder.

Crane furrowed his brow, "Harley I-"

He stopped talking as he caught a glimpse of green hair from the corner of his eye. He stared intently at the figure as he strode into the Arkham rec room, handcuffed and with two male guards behind him. The Joker, the Clown Prince of Crime. It was very rare to see him be allowed rec room privileges, and out of all the times he does it has to be now.

Harley looked at Crane's face as he stared off into the distance behind her. "Johnny, what'cha lookin' at?" Harley asked while turning her head into the direction his was turned. Let's just say, her eye's lit up with joy instantly as she caught sight at her love enter the room.

"Mistah J!" Harley shrieked happily as she sprung off the couch and sprinted towards Joker. His head spun in her direction and before he knew it she already had her arms wrapped around him in a constricting hug.

"Oh Puddin'! I missed you soo much!" Harley giggled as she continued to hug him. Joker's arms were still handcuffed behind his back and the two guards behind him stared angrily at Harley.

"Harley, let go of him. We gotta take his handcuffs off." The taller one ordered her with a stern voice.

"Shut up you lousy lowlifes! I haven't seen my Mistah J in weeks!"

Joker glanced down at her with a neutral expression on his face, "Harley let me go and let the nice guards take my handcuffs off. Then we can spend time together." He talked to her as if she were a small clueless child.

Harley looked up at him, "Oh okay!"

She backed away and let the guards uncuff him. When they did he strode over towards one of the couches and plopped down on it. Harley giddily skipped over towards him and took a spot next to him on the couch.

"Puddin', I missed you so much!" She chirped while hugging him again.

Joker groaned,"Yea I can tell."

"Did you miss me?" Harley asked him hopefully.

Joker glanced down at her with an confused expression, "Uh sure, kiddo"

"Oh I love you!" She squealed while attempting to kiss him on the cheek.

"Harley enough! Get off me!" He shouted while shoving her back away from him. Harley fell onto her back on the couch.

Crane, who sat a few feet away from them on another couch, shook his head in disbelief as he saw Joker toss away Harley's advances.

He was disappointed to say the least now that she no longer clung to him. Harley was coming out to be a very entertaining companion to engage with. She was witty, intelligent, funny, and kind. It almost made Crane angry to see her completely lose herself the moment the Joker walked into the room. He has some kind of crazy affect on her, something that even a psychology major like Crane couldn't figure out.

"Jeez sorry Mistah J. Didn't mean to anger you." Harley mumbled to him apolitically as she sat up from the couch.

"Yea whatever." Joker muttered. He sat forward suddenly and grabbed a pack of playing cards off the table in front of him and began sorting through them, ignoring Harley completely.


End file.
